Internet Radio Interview

April 26, 2007

I am being interviewed on the internet radio show tomorrow, Friday 27 April. The show runs from 11.00 am – 1.00 pm. I won’t be on until about 11.30/11.45 am. Please feel free to listen in.


A Royal Relationship?

April 25, 2007

I was reflecting on the news recently about Prince William ending his relationship and the journalists following his then girlfriend. And how this seems to have brought his mother and father’s relationship back into discussion…

Relationships can be challenging at the best of times, bearing in mind that each of us is totally unique and we come from different parenting and sometimes different backgrounds, race and/or religion. Siblings will experience childhood differently from us so each of us takes our own memories into a relationship. At the same time there are other relationship memories that we take into the current relationship.

In hetrosexual relationships, there is also the difference of man and woman. So the added pressure of having a relationship with a member of the royal family must put enormous pressure on the relationship. Another pressure on a relationship is children and here in England there is pressure being put on parents to be better parents. This therefore leaves less time for the couple’s relationship. In fact I was featured in The Times on this very subject:  

So why do we want a relationship? I believe we are relational beings…we need to be in relationship with another.

But good relationships don’t just happen we must work at them. How do we do that…with more awareness, giving and receiving well, maintaining self-worth, gratitude, being true to ourselves, communicating effectively…no He said/She said…just as I write about in my book “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”…for a free chapter and weekly relationship help and hot tips please visit my website

“I slept and dreamt that life was joy.

I awoke and saw that life was duty.

I acted and behold, duty was joy!”

           Rabindranath Tagore 

How simple this looks…

How profound this is…

And yet how challenging it is to change what might seem like a duty, into an act of joy… 

What if instead of just sleeping and dreaming that life was joy, we actually dream while we are awake…vision ourselves as full of joy and our life and relationships being joyful. I was working with a couple this morning and we were doing a visioning exercise of them in 10 years time and how they wanted their relationships to be…the most difficult thing they found was to allow themselves to see themselves as having what they want…they struggled to allow themselves to feel the wonderful emotions that went with it…but once they allowed themselves to feel it they could see what they needed to do in the present to make that first step towards achieving the future they wanted. 

When I was a young teenager, my older cousin had a sports car and I said to myself I was going to have a sports car one day…well I did get my sports car but not until I was in my early 50s because many duties and life happened and I forgot to hold on to my dream…I let it go…then when I was more able to receive joy…I got my car. 

How much do you love yourself…I believe that’s what it takes to have a joyful life…to love yourself enough to do the everyday acts with love and find joy. That’s not to love yourself and exclude others but to include others. It took me a long time to love myself…I always acted as if others were more important than me but wanted them to do the same – act as if I was important. It wasn’t until I saw myself as important that others did! When I started doing things joyfully…life be came joy. I still get the challenges but I approach them differently.


I had my book launch on Wednesday and I have been asked to blog about it soooooooo…

The launch was wonderful… I smiled from beginning to end…but let me take you back a little…

I had to take some papers to a solicitor in Holborn, London…afterwards I decided to look at a hotel or two before going to a meeting. As I was walking along High Holborn, I was looking at the architecture of the buildings around me and admiring them and thinking how lucky I was to enjoy these old builidngs…I saw an archway and was studying the building around it and wondering if it was an hotel I didn’t know about…it was…The Renaissance. So under the archway I did go…and discovered the hotel entrance in a delightful cobbled courtyard.

If old architecture is not your thing…then you will not appreciate this hotel…but the decor was modern.

The beautiful reception is large and spacious with deep comfortable leather sofas and armchairs and a round very large glass table in the centre with flowers and candles on it…if you like sweets, the reception desk had a big bowl of them for everyone to help themselves…the atmosphere was calm and the staff were very willing to help. I waited to see a young woman from their events department….she arrived and we talked about my book launch being possibly held there. She showed me the rooms that would be suitable for my launch.

As she took me towards the staircase, I just knew this was for me….now bear in mind that I will be 60 at the end of this year…I don’t feel, look or act it but I do enjoy old/modern splendour.

I have this image of a beautiful staircase in my dream home that curves upstairs…well, here it was, only curving downstairs! I felt like royalty with the red carpet under my feet, as I walked down the staircase to the reception area in front of the ballroom…another magnificent place…

I must tell you that there are beautiful large modern chandeliers in reception and in the area leading to the ballroom as well as the ballroom itself…but the ballroom was too large for my book launch….

I was guided to a room to the left of the ballroom which was simple and suitable.

After checking out a few more hotels, I decided this was the one for me. My publisher had suggested a cheese and wine reception…so I asked if that was possible…yes it was and I added orange, still and sparkling water. I sent out invitations by email and snailmail…it was wonderful to connect with so many friends whom I hadn’t seen for a long time…even some who couldn’t come to the launch, phoned or emailed or sent cards to and wish me every success on the night. It was so wonderful to reconnect with everyone again.

On the night, Michelle (my daughter) and I arrived…just outside the room was a table with one of my books beautifully framed upon it (a present from my publisher)…then I walked into the room. Wow! it was better than I had remembered and the hotel staff had arranged it better than I had envisioned it…a few cocktail tables with beutifully draped cloths and bowls of nuts and crisps…

I have to say at this point that I thought I was just getting cheese cubes and nothing else but the hotel had really been creative and not only put the bowls of nuts and crisps out but had arranged the different cheeses just beautifully with apricots and other dried fruit and salad bits and pieces, bread and biscuits…just delightful to my eye.

In one corner were the drinks and in another was a table for my book signing. There was a wine waitor and waitress and we helped ourselves to the cheese etc.

I had had printed some notepads with an affirmation from my book at the top and my details at the bottom and I put one of these on each cocktail table for guests to use. Along with these, I put my business cards and postcards with my book cover on them.

A friend offered to take the money and my daughter took videos and photos during the evening. I was signing books and talking briefly to people.

I was expecting 4/5 journalists. However only one turned up…but I was interviewed by The Times for 45 mins the day before and several journalists had requested a copy of my book.

At 5.00pm guests started arriving…my publisher’s PA was at the door to register everyone and to welcome the press. At 6.30pm I gave a small talk after thanking those who had helped to make the evening a wonderful success. I am passionate as a Love Engineer, in providing honest guidance and revealing The Secret everyone must know to completely transform their relationship to its highest potential. I explained the importance of awareness and how we can develop it by just looking around ou environment, particularly at nature…but The Secret, is to love ourselves…not in a selfish uncaring way…but by really taking care of ourselves, feeling our worth, know what we truly want and how we want to be and following through….making an effort to make love work…it will not happen on its own…being in love is only the start, we must work at it.

Have you looked at a newborn baby…aren’t they just little wondrous miracles…well you and I were a newborn baby once and we were seen as wondrous little miracles. Let me tell you that you and I still are wondrous miracles…we’ve just grown into bigger ones. We are the same, just bigger…and we must remember that.

It was wonderful for me to see everyone enjoying themselves and networking. At 8.00pm the launch ended and we packed up and went home.

What was the point of the launch…for me it was to have so many different people I knew under one roof and to celebrate the birth of my book, “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship – Making Love Work” and to get some press coverage because I know, from the work I do, that people can change and marriages/relationships can be transformed if we want them to…it just takes a little effort…but if you don’t put anything into it, you won’t get anything out of it!

According to a survey recently, marriages in England are at their worst for 100 years and Europe is not far behind. It really does not have to be like this….

Anita Jackson from