A New Relationship ~ With a Kitten!

May 3, 2007

Yes, my cat, Pudding aged 17, died a year ago and 2 weeks ago I agreed to start a relationship with a kitten…very different from a 17 year-old cat! Of course, Pudding was a kitten once but that was so long ago, I had forgotten how exhausting kittens can be.

His or her name is Mitten…yes, I don’t even know the sex…so hopefully Mitten is neutral enough to work for either sex! Mitten is very cute, gorgeous and loving. At the same time Mitten is demonic…chasing around the house, knocking over a vase causing water to flow freely over my carpet which took 8 towels to dry up, climbing anything she/he can, pearching on the back of my chair and nuzzling up…aah…then chasing bits of string and silver balls…oh! and hanging by her/his claws…in fact what appeared to be one claw and not batting an eyelid!

As for our relationship… we bonded the first day. I carry her around or she follows me…she has learnt my call for food…banging the bowl with a spoon and calling “Food Mitten”.  Just imagine my doing this in the street…I did it for Pudding and felt very silly calling out “Food Pudding”. Mitten also trusts me to catch her/him if she is just about to fall off my lap…she/he just lets go and relaxes and trusts.

I was wondering what this message was for humans in a relationship…for me it’s about being with Mitten and accepting her/him just as Mitten is…I can’t stop Mitten needing exercise, she has so much energy for one so young and too young to go out alone yet.

It is so important when in a relationship, that we accept each other for who we are and what we come with into the relationship – warts and all.

Exercise is important for our health and wellbeing just as it is for a kitten…and we must do it safely without destroying anything around us or ourselves…unlike Mitten.

What I have also noticed is how I am willing to praise and cuddle or stroke Mitten when she/he is cute and good. When Mitten is about to draw blood with her/his sharp little teeth, I say “gently, gently” in a calm way and Mitten starts to lick my hand instead. When Mitten is naughty I tell her/him “No you’re naughty” in a very strict deep voice and Mitten seems to cower and understand. Then we carry on as normal and I cuddle and stroke Mitten, showing that I still love her/him. So how does this reflect a human relationship…

We must draw our boundaries and be true to ourselves and willing to compromise on things that are less important. We must remember that “No” is a statement on it’s own and it’s all right to say “No” and mean it…don’t say it and then give in…you may never be believed again when you say “No”! Know that it’s no good shouting and screaming at your loved one…but it’s really OK to feel angry or hurt and say so: “I feel angry when you do that” or “I feel hurt when you say that”…you could even go one step further and say what you would prefer your loved one to do.

How powerful trust is…essential for a relationship to work well.

Just remember to bond with each other…be open and get to really know each other.

Anita Jackson, Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” at www.rekindlethemagic.com

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