Is Your Relationship Built on Secrets and Lies?

May 17, 2007

Last Saturday I joined my Shakespearean group as Isabella in Measure For Measure…it was a wonderful evening.

Briefly, Measure For Measure is set in Vienna where there are several brothels and even outside of these, much sex out of wedlock. The Duke appoints Angelo to clean up the city in his absence but watches everything in the disguise of a Friar.

As Isabella, I am a novice nun and was sent for by my brother, Claudio, because he was in prison and to be executed the next day, having had sex with his betrothed before marriage and she was pregnant. I plead to Angelo for Claudio’s release…I am very determined and strong and angry despite the fact that I abhor what Claudio has done (as Isabella). The only way was to agree to have sex with Angelo who not only desires me but appears desperate to have his way with me.

There is a lot of deceit in the play which of course starts with the Duke going under cover as a Friar and Angelo’s ex-betrothed standing in for me and having sex with Angelo because she still wants him. The Duke, as the Friar, came up with this suggestion.

The Duke falls in love with me and at the very end, when he reveals himself as the Duke, asks for my hand in marriage…the answer is left in the air…to everyone’s imagination. Having been Isabella, I feel she could choose to marry him…it seems quite bizarre, a nun and a friar getting married but then she is not yet a nun and he was not a friar.

For me the play seemed to be based on secrets and lies and Shakespeare based his plays on what was current at the time. How many relationships today are based on secrets and lies?

There was a story in the Daily Mirror recently of a man who revealed to his wife that he had been unfaithful to her throughout their marriage. My ex-husband was unfaithful to me and I help clients rekindle the magic in their relationship and some have had affairs. They keep the secret and live the lie of a double life. Not only were they in a marriage but also having sex outside of marriage.

And then there is Angelo pointing his finger at others having sex out of wedlock but three fingers pointing back at himself! How many of you point the finger at you loved one in your relationship but are guilty of the same thing. It is so important to be aware of what we are doing and saying…hopefully then we will be honest and open in our relationships and act with integrity.

(c) copywrite 2007 Anita Jackson, author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”


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