Want to Rekindle Your Relationships at Work?

September 19, 2007

I was asked this question…it is not about an intimate relationship… however I thought it would be useful because my answer can be applied to any relationship:

I don’t have a partner at present but I do have problems with someone at work. He is not my boss but is a director of the company and is extremely over-bearing and aggressive to me on occasions. He has also managed to upset most of my staff.  Fortunately he only comes to the office about once a week if that but now he has sent me a warning letter about some “trumped up complaint”. My own boss, who lives in Spain has said to take no notice but that’s hard to do especially when it was totally unwarranted. I do not want to crawl to him but how can I forget his hurtful comments and keep things on an even keel with him? Right now I would like to find another job but why should I leave a job I like just to please him? …

My Answer to your question is:

I remember feeling like that with my ex-husband …nothing I ever did seemed to be good enough and I felt shocked and couldn’t understand why he would lie about me.Then I saw an ex-boss as being a bully with everyone, not just me…including the children…he was a head teacher. In fact, the whole school seemed depressed and angry.

Through a friend, I decided one day to see him as “Loving and Kind towards me”. Before going into work I would say, “Fred is always loving and kind to me” and just kept chanting it.

He changed towards me or so I perceived…what I did was change my perception by chanting and as I began to believe it from the inside, so he changed or my perception changed on the outside. Interestingly, I still saw him bullying others, including the children he didn’t like but not those who chanted like me.I started saying what I wanted from him as a boss. Once I asked him to tell me when I had done a good job. He said he couldn’t do that…It was beyond what he could do.

However what started to happen was that he would show me his appreciation in different ways…the bottom line was that I felt appreciated and it didn’t matter how he showed it…he got the message and I felt good.

Even more interestingly, he very soon left (I always wondered if he couldn’t take that new way of being) and the new head was completely the opposite…very appreciative and very kind to the children…and the whole school changed…the children were better behaved.

What you must do is…

Give yourself love
Send and give him love
See him as a loving, kind, caring being
Be aware of your anger and let it out safely…punching pillows etc…otherwise it will leak out at others
Tell him how you feel “I feel angry (or whatever it is) when you do … (whatever it is) and what I want you to do is…(whatever it is)
Use an affirmation: “…(Name) is always loving, kind and caring to me and my staff” and make sure you are

Here’s to you first loving yourself first and sending love to your boss

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, author of Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”  and the Love Wizard Providing Honest Guidance and The Secret You Must Know to Completely Transform Your Relationship to its Highest Potential

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