How Do I Get My Wife to Hug Me?

October 2, 2007

Ask Your Number One Question About Your Relationship below…

Today’s Question is:

The problem is that my wife won’t hug or touch me…she wasn’t given that sort of love as a child…what can I do?

My Answer is:

You can’t make your wife hug or touch you lovingly, especially as she is not used to it. However you can hug and touch her, if she will let you…even if you get nothing back.

The most important thing for you to do is hug and touch yourself lovingly. This may seem strange however it is very important that we give to ourselves what we want from others. It also goes very nicely with looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you. It is important tht you know you are loved.

When you start giving more to yourself, you’ll have more hugs and touches to give others…of course, this has to be appropriate…but you can always send an imaginary hug and touch to anyone, including your wife. That person will unconsciously accept it if they want to receive it or unconsciously reject it if they don’t.

I imagine your wife has been crying out for love all her life and probably feels unloved and cared for because she can’t give it to herself, you or others. She will probably blame you, if she hasn’t already done so, for being unloving.

So by doing all that you possibly can to love yourself first and then her, regardless of what happens, you will know that, whatever she says or does, you are doing everything you can for your relationship. However, only do this because you want to give…not because you want to get back…this is crucial.

You know, a loving smile is like a hug and a touch…we touch our loved ones and others when we smile at them.

Stop reading this and look in the mirror…smile at yourself…imagine you’re receiving that smile…I bet you want to smile right back…now I imagine the original smile is even bigger.

A loving smile is indeed a connection…if you need the physical touch then you must get it from yourself first and I believe you will then get it from, hopefully, your wife and others.

While looking in the mirror, put your hands on either side of your face as if you are cupping your face in them and smile lovingly at yourself. Notice what you feel emotionally…you may have tears…whatever it is, just stay with the feelings. Notice what you feel physically…get all the pleasure you can from it…

I use my hands like this when I’m healing…you are healing yourself. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself to be a healer or not, you are healing you…you are putting things right…you are giving yourself what you need without being needy with your wife.

That might be what she’s afraid of…your neediness of the hug and touch…she might be afraid that she won’t do it properly for you…she might be afraid that you’ll want too much from her, if she gives you a hug and touch….I don’t know but what I do know is that we are complicated beings and fear plays a big part in stopping us doing things.

You might see a hug and touch as small but she or someone else might see it as huge. Keep giving them to yourself and let me know what happens.

Everyone…Now is Your Chance to Ask Your Burning Question About Your Relationship…ask away below…

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”. Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.

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