Has Your Flame Gone Out?

November 26, 2007

If you feel it has or is going that way…don’t despair…help is here…

I know in my marriage, I was an ostrich and buried my head in the sand when my relationship started to go downhill and when it had gone too far I was full of blame because my husband had had affairs. I imagine he was blaming me to have had the affairs.

Both of us met at a time when we were looking for different relationships…I was wanting someone not like my father and he was looking for someone not like his mother. We were different but guess what, we had similar parts to my father and his mother inside us which came out more because of the way we were interracting with each other. We hadn’t changed our shape, our way of being and yet we wanted someone different.

Now this is true of relationships with loved ones…if you were to split up you must change your shape, your way of being, or you will get someone very similar even though they may not appear so to begin with. It is not to do with them, it is to do with you, how you feel, how you communicate, how you respond or react, how you listen, how you give and receive, how much you are aware, how much you are true to yourself, how much self-worth you have, how much you want to make love work,  how grateful you are, how, if at all, you’ve moved on from past relationships.

It is far better to work with the relationship you already have and to improve or maintain it. So many of us, including me, have thought that once married, that’s it forever but guess what, forever is like a piece of string…how long is a piece of string? Forever may be one hour, one day, one week, one month, one year, ten years, eighty years…you just don’t know what might happen on the one hand and you don’t know how you will be with each other as you both grow and evolve. You may do this together or separately but change does happen.

Unfortunately two years, if you’re lucky, seems to be the benchmark for relationships changing and then there’s that awful saying “the seven year itch”…so you have to put energy into your relationship.

I say energy because effort implies hard work…if you love your loved one, it really shouldn’t be hard work but energy is a must.

If you would like to hear how you can keep your flame going, I have a FREE teleseminar this Wednesday 28 November at 4 pm NY time ie 9 pm UK time. So please click here to sign up. It’s just the cost of a long distance call unless you have a cheap system like Skype which costs nothing.

I really hope to see you there…

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” at www.rekindlethemagic.com

Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.

Here is your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Action steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php

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