The most important way to communicate is to stay with yourself…so many of us, and I have to keep practising this, say “You” when we mean “I”…by doing this you are not making yourself important…this is a MUST. You MUST put yourself first, however not in a selfish way, but an inclusive way.

When we feel hurt, angry, sad, happy, joyful, excited…we must say “I feel….(whatever the feeling is)”…we give our power away far too much.

Imagine how you want to communicate with your husband and children…to get that image you must look around you…look to see if someone you know is a good role model for this…maybe you’ve seen someone in a film doing and saying just what you want to do and say, maybe in a play, or in a book you’ve read or in a workshop you’ve been to…it doesn’t matter where as long as the person is doing and saying what you would like to do and say.

If you can, listen and watch it, or read it again…really get it so that you instinctively know it…embody it in your whole being by stepping into that role…really becoming the role…and speaking and acting as that role. Have an image of the person and hold it regularly on the TV screen of your mind, walk, stand and talk as they do.

When you talk to your husband and children, be clear about what you want for you and/or from them.

If something they have said or done makes you feel angry…check out if there is another feeling underneath which is being covered up by the anger…maybe hurt or pain. Say “I feel hurt when you do (or say) that and what I would prefer you to do (or

say) is ……..(and give an example which means that you must know what you want them to say or do instead).”

Of course, you may be feeling angry and you need to say “I feel angry when you say that and what I’d prefer you to say is…..”

You are the most important person in your life and you will honour yourself far more by making “I” statements and not acting out…actually getting upset or angry…of course, it’s important to show that you mean what you are saying by being congruent with you body language, so make sure you’re not smiling or crying when you feel angry…you’d be surprised how many people do this because they were brought up believing that anger was not allowed….and look happy when you feel it.

Let me know if there is something else you want to communicate.

I shall be in Orlando next week…if you live nearby, you might want to come along to a book signing, workshop or speaking engagement…I don’t have all the details yet but if you would like to come along, please phone me on 407-578-9628 or email me at wolfsongk9relations@gmail.com for more details.

Also, if you’re in England you might want to buy “Love It!” magazine in which I am giving tips on “How to…Have Sex with the Same Man Forever”…enjoy.

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com

Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.

Here is your…
FREE Chapter of my Book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE Weekly Relationship Guidance and Action Steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php

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I imagine you miss your wife when she spends time with her family…if so…tell her…maybe go with her.

I also imagine your wife is close to her family and therefore wants to spend time with them.

If the time your wife spends spoils the time you would have had with her, I imagine you might feel jealous, hurt and/or lonely…tell her.

Always stay with how you feel emotionally ie “I feel (hurt) when you spend so much time with your family and what I would like you to do is (to spend more time with me)” …substitute the bracketed words with whatever is right for you.

By speaking like this, you take responsibility for how you feel and are not blaming your wife…I don’t imagine for one moment that she wants to do anything to you…she just wants to see her family.

Of course, there may be other reasons why your wife sees her family a lot — in your eyes — so talk with her…understand why she goes a lot.

Maybe you could take her out more…suggest doing things together…not to keep her away from her family but so she wants to spend time with you…there are many ideas in my book “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”.

It’s Valentine’s Day on Thursday…make sure you do something special with her.

If it’s possible, maybe your wife could see her family when you’re not at home.

Whatever you do please remember, you must always communicate with each other.

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com

Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.

Here is your…
FREE Chapter of my Book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE Weekly Relationship Guidance and Action Steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php

Have you lost the magic in your relationship? If so, look back and see when it started and what happened or didn’t happen at that time.

On the outside, there are various reasons…everyone is different…every relationship is different…and therefore there could be one reason and mixture of reasons or just the last straw.

However the outside is generally not the real reason…it’s normally to do with each person in the relationship…in the beginning you were attracted to each other for more than your looks, what you said, how you walked, your smile, etc…I believe you were attracted by the energy of each of you. What do I mean by this? We give off an aura of who we are, where we’ve come from, what’s happened in our lives…it’s all there in the way we hold ourselves, the way we speak, the way we walk, stand, sit…we tell a story without even telling it.

Once in the relationship, even though you may say to yourself consciously or unconsciously, “I’m not going to be like my parents” (or one of them), “This relationship won’t be like my parents’ marriage”, “This one’s different, and this won’t be like other relationships” and even “He’s not like my father” or “She’s not like my mother”…or words like that…what you’re focusing on is the previous relationships and how your loved one is not like a parent.

The important thing is to focus on the positive…whenever you use “Not” find the polar opposite to what that is eg “I’m not going to be like my parents”…find the polar opposite…where have you seen a couple that you believe have got it together and have a wonderful relationship or at least a good enough one…maybe in the films or on stage, in a book or a couple you know.

When you recall your ideal couple, then focus on them and state, “I have a relationship like ………”

Always keep your language positive and in the present…then the important thing is to see your role in your ideal relationship…start acting, speaking, etc like the woman or the man in your ideal relationship…let them be your role model and copy them.

Another reason the magic goes is that people stop trying…I’ve heard it many times and even said it myself, “I shouldn’t have to try because he’s the one for me and therefore it should just happen.”

NO! This is not the truth…if you want a picture you’re painting to look good, then you may be a natural artist but you have to make an effort, try your best, because this could be the difference between selling it or not selling it, selling it at a great price or selling it cheaply…

…so make sure you make the same effort in your relationship…say what you mean, say how you feel, give, remembering to receive well too, become more aware of yourself and your loved one, listen, watch, being loving, kind and thoughtful…not just on Valentine’s Day or their birthday but every day.

(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work” at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com

Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.

Here is your…
FREE Chapter of my Book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE Weekly Relationship Guidance and Action Steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php