Is there a way to guarantee you a perfect relationship?
November 7, 2007
Life goes up and down…this is normal…if everything went smoothly, I think we’d all be bored.
If you are a man, please transpose “him”, etc with “her” etc.
I believe you can have the relationship you want…you must put energy into it…you must know what you want…what is a perfect relationship for you? If you find yourself saying “I don’t want …(maybe, “him to shout at me” or maybe, “him to pick his feet”)” find the polar opposite, what you do want, because if you focus on what you don’t want, you’ll get more of that…you must focus on what you do want (maybe, “I want him to be calm with me” or maybe, “I want him to buy me flowers everyweek”)…be specific and see him being like this or doing what you want him to do.
Everyone’s idea of a perfect relationship is different…we are all different and need different things in a relationship…start to use your imagination and image how you want your relationship to be…you must feel it both physically and emotionally as well…so do some acting and step into the role in your image-world and imagine your loved one with you…notice how you feel emotionally, how you feel physically, what you can smell, taste, hear and touch and what you are wearing, especially what you have on your feet.
Start really acting in your everyday life like you do in the image…if you don’t have a loved one right now, pretend you have one and act like this with everyone …except of course if your image is about making love…then you probably won’t want to practise this with everyone! But there again you might! :). There are no rights or wrongs…it really is whatever you want in your relationship and/or how you want your relationship to be and/or how you want to be and/or how you want your loved one to be.
If you have difficulty knowing what you want, watch and think of some films or plays you’ve seen where you have thought “I’d like that in my love life” or “that’s the way I’d like my loved one to be” or “I want to be like that” or something along those lines.
You may have read a book in which there is a couple in a scene you like…what did you like…is it something you’d like to be or have.
Don’t forget you may have friends who have the relationship you’d like…or you may like bits of their relationship…you can piece lots of good bits of relationships together.
So, to recap…you must know what you want…image how you want your relationship to be…act as if you are in that relationship…make sure you use all your senses and faculties.
(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”.
Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.
Here is your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Action steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php
How do single moms from dysfunctional families begin to build a good relationship and find good candidates for this position?
November 5, 2007
First of all…you are talking about wanting a good relationship for single moms…it is really important to change your words if it is “you” who wants the good relationship which I imagine it is…your question could have started “How do I, a single mom from a dysfunctional family…?”
The next thing is to stop referring to yourself as a single mom from a dysfunctional family…that may be your history but each time you refer to it, it becomes your present…if you change your present – you mould your future. Start seeing yourself as building a good relationship and start thinking of yourself in a good relationship…
Imagine yourself in one now…how would you refer to yourself in a relationship…maybe “I am so happy and grateful now that I am in a wonderful relationship with my loved one” …
This would be great for those in a relationship to say as well. I give 10 affirmations in my book which are very useful…one for each chapter. One of these affirmations is with the FREE chapter.
I imagine you only want one loved one…so don’t think of finding good candidates…think of and imagine having the right one…now you need to know what his qualities are and find them in yourself…as you give to and act that way yourself, you will receive that…start imaging the scenes you want to play in …you are the Star in your own film.
You must also be the producer…start producing…find the script and scenes your want…look at other people around you in good relationships…what is it you like…what do you want…how do you want him to be…how do you want to be…look at films with relationships in…what do you like…what do you want to copy…don’t forget books…stories of couples…your imagination is powerful…use it.
All the above goes for anyone in a relationship too…you can make your relationship richer and better with the power of your mind and acting on it.
(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”.
Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.
Here is your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Action steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php
It is very important that you make time to focus on your love life…and at the same time, you have a common interest in your work, so many couples find that a challenge. Whatever I say below does depend on the type of work you do, so if mornings or afternoons would be easier than evenings, please substitute as necessary.
The first thing I would suggest is that you really feel grateful for the common interest and then you will feel good about your work rather than finding it a challenge. By focusing on the gratitude, you could find yourselves naturally finding time to focus on your love life because it shifts your emotions.
However, you could make sure you both stop work at the same time as each other…if you’re at home, make sure you close the office door behind you at a certain time each evening…if this will be challenging, take small steps and start with one evening a week…
Have at least one meal a day together, where you sit, eat and talk to each other about you, your relationship, how you’re feeling, particularly emotionally, what your needs are, etc. You both have to eat, so this would be a wonderful beginning.
One of the most powerful things a couple can do is to take time out to sit and face each other…to start with, one talking for 2 mins (you can increase this when it becomes easier) and the other listening with their whole being, not just their ears, their whole awareness – senses and faculties – without nodding or shaking their head or saying “Yes” “No” or anything else…then you swap over and the other one talks for the same amount of time while the first one listens…afterwards both of you feeds back for 2 mins each what you heard, felt, understood and maybe ask how you might help…you could then discuss it for another 4 mins. So to begin with, the time take would be 12 mins in total.
Remember, this isn’t a time for blame…take responsibility and say how you feel emotionally…this may make you feel vulnerable however it is wonderful for the relationship.
As to actually how you should make time, it is really up to you…if you want to, you will.
Imagine what you want your relationship to be like…see it in your imagination…feel yourself in that sort of relationship…notice what that’s like…notice what you are wearing and what you have on your feet…as you do this, touch a part of your body that would help you remember what you want your relationship to be like…then you can recall it at any time…it’s got to be a relationship that you really want, so that you want to make time to build it.
Come together and talk about each other’s vision…if there are common bits…build on them…see how you can work towards both of you getting the relationship you want…it may mean compromising on some things however make sure you stay true to yourself…your core values.
Although I would leave your visioning up to you, I would like to suggest that you think of taking time out and going away, even if it’s just for a day together…then stretch it to a weekend away…you can really rekindle your relationship this way.
A dinner out once a week would be excellent too…I have found getting out of the house when working from home very important. Even when I went out to work my ex-husband and I would sit in the car outside the house and talk or go to a restaurant and talk because once we got inside, we just got busy. When our children came along, we stopped doing this…we didn’t take time out for ourselves to talk about us…this contributed to our demise.
(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Speaker, Counsellor/Psychotherapist/Coach and Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”.
Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.
Here is your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Action steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php
“How Can I Start a Relationship that Will Last?” Carla
October 20, 2007
By being yourself, loving yourself and making yourself important…
and this goes for anyone already in a relationship too.
It’s doing what you want to do, that is, choosing to spend time
with your loved one and putting energy into it. In fact I would suggest
you put energy into your life on your own as well as with your loved one…
Be who you truly are, have a vision of what you really want and
how you want your relationship to be.
What are the qualities you want in your loved one?
Now make sure these qualities are really well developed in you.
What are your values? What’s important to you?
Take care of yourself and feel good about yourself. This means
exercise, good food etc. If you want your loved one to take care of you
you must show him (or her) that YOU care about yourself.
Feel grateful for all the friends you have in your life right now.
As you fill up with your love you have
more love to give your friends and family
Smile at people, yes, even strangers as you walk down the streeet…
that is giving of yourself
Communicate well with everyone. Always come from “I feel…”
Just remember the Law of Attraction…love yourself and love will come to you.
(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, Author of “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”. Internationally recognised Love Wizard gives results-based guidance that creates the love and happiness you deserve in your life.
Get your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Action steps AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php
How Does Energy Work?
September 25, 2007
I have been asked this question:
Does such a thing as a soulmate who is 110% compatible with you, really exist or can you only find someone who is 70%?
My Answer to the question is:
Well, I would say be drawn by energy…don’t go for looks because they change, don’t go for those for excite you sexually…this changes…go by energy…go by your intuition, your gut feeling, from your heart, your sense…become friends…get to know each other first. Then you can build the relationship.
When I talk about builidng, you must put energy into it. All relationships need energy put into them too…you just must. If your relationship is high on your values list, you’re going to put energy into it. If it’s low down, then you’re not going to put energy into it. But you have too…you won’t succeed otherwise.
No 1’s Reply:
So you must come from the heart and not the eyes then.
My Response:
Yes.
No 2’s Response:
How do you get past that initial stage because I’ve never been attracted to anyone initially through their energy, ever, because I’ve seen them across the room first or I’ve seen them from a distance first.
My Reply:
I bet it was energetic.
No 3’s Question:
You mean we might not be aware of it…is that what you’re saying?
No 4’s Response:
Yes that’s spiritual awareness or something…
My Reply:
You may or may not believe in this but…I see metaphorically a universal unconditional link between everybody…you don’t even have to see them, to have a spiritual link…a connection wth someone the other side of the world.
I had a dream about my son when he wasn’t talking to me…I was in Greece at the time and he was in England. I find dreams very powerful and I work with them…I looked at this one to see what it meant for me, I realised what was going on between us and was able to put it right in the dream. 2 weeks after I returned home, I received a phone call from my son…he phoned me “out of the blue”…I was looking at our relationship there…he was receiving it here and it happened.
No 2’s Response:
Yes, it’s just like the butterfly effect.
My Response:
Yes I do think we look at someone and think he or she’s a bit of all right and yes, I do think there has to be something…however, look at Beauty and the Beast. It’s not always looks, it’s not always sex…it can be. I have a friend who went to bed with her husband right away and they’re still together and flourish…there’s no right or wrong. But from what I understand and after talking to many people…it’s going on – happening on an energetic level.
No 5’s Response:
Yes, I came back from abroad and needed to get a job…a friend told me about one…I went to an interview but wasn’t bothered about the job…there were 2 guys there – one foreign and another, English…I’ve been with the English one ever since – 28 years.
My Response:
It was on an energetic level.
No 5’s Reply:
Yes.
My Response:
And I think that’s what we do when we’re networking…
No 1’s Response:
Well, that’s how I met Anita (me)…I went to Akasha and so did Anita…I went to listen to the speakers…I was introduced to Anita through a mutual friend and I wasn’t expecting to meet someone like her that I could introduce to my friends in this kind of forum. So it’s qutie strange how this works out and I think that the thing.
My Response:
On another level I went there, not for the speakers, but to network…I knew I was going to meet someone important there and I met you and as a result, the rest of you.
No 6’s Response:
About 4 years ago I was running a training course for air disaster with about 300 participants…there was a 10 day exercise…on the 8th day…I met this lovely girl…2 weeks later I proposed to her and we got married a year after. And the funny thing is…you know how families-in-law get against each other somehow. Well, the thing here is that between the 2 families, they planned our wedding within 3 months. Out of 300 odd people, how did I meet that one person? It just happened…you know about energy.
My Response:
What appears even more weird is that my phone rang yesterday and it was a chap who I hadn’t seen for 10 years…he still had my number on his phone and he’d pressed it by mistake…we reconnected, not because we needed to see each other again…but certainly I needed to see where I had come from…how I had changed and moved on and achieved so much.
Then it happened again by a friend who I’ve meant to call for a while and haven’t…I was being reminded to keep in touch with my friends…so I did…I phoned her. And what’s really interesting is that she could be a useful contact for one of you.
(c) copyright 2007 Anita Jackson, author or “Rekindle the Magic in Your Relationship ~ Making Love Work”. Love Wizard who provides honest guidance and the secret you must know to completely transform your relationship to its highest potential.
Get your…
FREE chapter of book at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com PLUS
FREE weekly relationship guidance and Hot Tips (Action steps) AND
FREE teleseminar at http://www.rekindlethemagic.com/teleseminar1.php
Rekindle The magic In Your Relationship 